Fast N Loud... young and proud [entries|friends|calendar] audria [ website | My Website ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[12 Apr 2005|06:10pm] told my mom i need to take a leave of absence from school and home.. she laughed at my face... i need to explore and find myself.. i feel very lost.. and being 18 and at home .. is never going to make me grow up.. i just need a month to myself or something.. iv always been way to overprotected and now im really fed up with this i wanna draw again.. iv been doodling in every class again.. i really want to have time to devote to myself and not papers.. o how i hate writing.. and i suck at it.. i suck at grammar and all that jive.. if i dont start drawing again and actually do what im good at .. then i rather just die.. cause im wasting my life as it is.. i never do what i want.. im the perfect daughter .. im sure i can get somewhere in life if i can just do what i want /.. if i keep up with this .. then im never going to get anywhere.. and ill be jobless i think the only reason im at school is to pay off my loans and give back to my mom.. cause i dont want to live a fancy rich life.. only thing id ever want to save for, is a nice lil house.. and be able to draw and have a little job with not to many hours and maybe be able to travel.. i never wanted to go into teaching or being an art director and even graphing.. i kinda hate it all.. its just what im good at and could probably survive with... i still dont know what my true passion is..and thats probably why i want to take this leave of absence 3 comments|post comment

[10 Apr 2005|01:45pm] im having trouble visualzing myself.. i guess this figure drawing class really messed w/ my head.. cause i know im fat.. always have been.. but there are some recent pics . thats seem to make me look thinner i guess .. i dont know .. im really lost. on how fat i really am.. ya i know this sounds dumb.. but i think .. i think im fatter then i really am.. and either way i still need to loose weight.. but its really hard when .. you live in this household . with a crazy mom :/ ( Read more... ) 5 comments|post comment

[10 Apr 2005|12:36pm] so everyone in the city got this phone call.. its kinda freaky Rapist Loose In Beverly Hills By Larry Wheeler KTLA-TV Newswriter April 7, 2005, 8:46 AM PDT BEVERLY HILLS -- The search is on for a rapist, two days after a woman was attacked in her home. The resident was robbed and assaulted about 10:30 p.m. (PDT) Tuesday night after she returned home in the southeast part of the city. The woman was treated at a hospital and released. The suspect ran from the scene. He is described as an African American male 25 to 35 years old, 5 feet 10 inches tall, to 6 feet 2 inches tall. He weighs 185 to 195 pounds and has a stocky build. He wore a maroon or green cap with a matching long sleeved shirt, police said. Police say an attack like this is very rare in Beverly Hills and they warn people to be aware of their surroundings. the their was another story; (this one creeped me out cause im sure i went to high school .. with who ever it is ) The 17-year-old girl, who was accosted at gunpoint after returning to her home around 10:30 p.m. Tuesday, was robbed and sexually assaulted , said Lt. Mitch McCann of the Beverly Hills Police Department. The rape occurred in the security garage near Olympic and Robertson streets, NBC4's Laurel Erickson reported. It was Beverly Hills' first major incident of its type this year. The girl was taken to a hospital for medical treatment and released, McCann said. The man was described as a black man, 25 to 35, 5 feet 10 inches tall and 185 to 195 pounds. He wore a maroon or green cap and a maroon or green long-sleeve shirt. Anyone with more information on the assault was asked to call Beverly Hills Police Department detectives at (310) 285-2128 or (310) 285-2125. 1 comment|post comment

[08 Apr 2005|09:18pm] trying to ditch rachel .. and not go to disneyland is harder then i thought.. man im broke lil bitch + i rather go to the showcase and see broken bones..arg 2 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2005|08:11pm] http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=77_squad post comment

[05 Apr 2005|07:24pm] wow last night was my fav night ever.. i thank you sooo much.. i loved your tears and shaky voice.. funny how there are certain words a person cant say.. w/ out freezing.. but when you said them.. the phone felt like it shrunk . or maybe that was my head.. i dont know.. it was so intense.. but thats all iv been thinking about today.. and as i was driving on the freeway.. i started tearing and almost ran into another car..i just have massive re-runs in my head of the conversation.. ugh! so now i can listen to that oi melz song with out feeling dumb...i kinda wished i called him after we hung up.. i should be writting this in my other lj. but whatever.. i dont really want him to see everything.. yeah.. ok no more mushy wushy aud.. i need to get back to normal!!! fuge.. i have massive papers due soon!! what am i doing!!! here's an old pic.. something to make me go.. arg.. think metal 2 comments|post comment

[04 Apr 2005|10:40pm] we are probably the most pathetic pair on the phone post comment

[02 Apr 2005|07:40pm] :( damn i wanna see Cinderella / Ratt / Quiet Riot / Firehouse at the greek theater.. arg why do i have to be so broke .. 44 dollars . dang .. i bet thats going to be one fun show 5 comments|post comment

[28 Mar 2005|09:26pm] i hate boobs.. 3 comments|post comment

[28 Mar 2005|08:31pm] since when did i become so anti social? something needs to change.. iv been a bit confused about my major.. its either major in graphic, get a teaching degree and minor in theater or major in film.. and i can either minor in graphic or get my teaching degree ( but i cant to all three) im so confused.. i hate how i just cant do it all and then i ask myself, why didnt I just go to an art school i really should be working on my art.. i havnt painted in ages .. and i have a million ideas.. i just cant seem to start them i have soo much to do this month.. and my minds in space... i need to move out.. living here .. is like living in a bubble and it makes me so unsocial. i think i pushed everyone i ever knew away from me.. and im sorry.. but being alone is really nice..so maybe i shouldnt complain about that.. + im sure non of my so called friends really care.. since they all have each other. 5 comments|post comment

[24 Mar 2005|10:25pm] sf trip ( Read more... ) 6 comments|post comment

[24 Mar 2005|08:03pm] i miss san fran.. i want to go back and live there.. :( i miss the hostle.. the italian punk boy who helped me find my belt. the houses, the people ,and pat.. oh man pats awesome! post comment

[16 Mar 2005|07:28am] booo.. i swear.. i had to miss all these great shows and ditch fransis just because of these papers.. and now that im done with them. i have nothing to do but pack .. because my ass i leaving l.a on friday..me and rachel are taking the greyhound to san fran... im soo excited!!! finally.. damn i need my pay cheak~! 1 comment|post comment

[13 Mar 2005|09:43pm] i cant finish these two papers .. i hate them both.. and im kinda screwed considering ill be attending two shows mon and tues and these papers are due Wednesday.. bla!!!!!!!! arg!!! 4 comments|post comment

[13 Mar 2005|08:03pm] o boo!!!! why do you live so far and by far... i mean soo far...and we're both hurting for the same reason.. aw you suck.. and this hurts.. 4 comments|post comment

[11 Mar 2005|03:37pm] im so sad.. i just paid 800 bucks for my student loans.. i swear school leaves you sooooo broke.. this hurts soo much 1 comment|post comment

[04 Mar 2005|08:30pm] flea market on melrose a good end 5 comments|post comment

[27 Feb 2005|06:59pm] so Saturday i went to rodeo drive.. and finally met teddys younder sister.. it was really funny, teddys mom flew her sister down to los angeles so she could get her some dolche and gabbana stuff, of the new line.. it was really crazy cause her mom marked up the whole catalog and ended up spending around 20 grand ... i was just like wow! then they dropped 500 in locste.. ha then we ate.. man i do hate rodeo drive and beverly hills in general.. only cool thing was that .. i had the best free lunch there.. then we saw shark tales .. sunday.. i went to the flea market w/ byron.. that was fun.. i made him drop a ton of cash.. but hes just pimp like that.. he got awesome stuff..i totally pimp his closet out.. we got him chincilla coats .. sooo funny!! he was so excited then we found out retail slut is closing, we were so sad about that.. i will def miss that store.. its like melrose is loosing it!!! everything i ever loved about the place is leaving.. it makes me sooo sad anywho its cool how i help everyone shop. im everyones lil personal shopper post comment

[26 Feb 2005|01:40am] omg hes soooooo effing cute.. he put such a smile on my face 4 comments|post comment

[24 Feb 2005|07:49pm] so this hair was killing me .. i decided to try something new..i cant get used to it.. still has to grow on me.. old hair .. bye bye!!! tear ( Read more... ) 11 comments|post comment

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